tarts

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cass, 21, living with hysteria. hello

all girls should have a poem
written for them even if
we have to turn this god-damn world
upside down to do it
--richard brautigan

email + @tarts + last.fm

radio silence? try my travelogue.

NEXT BACK

today I was charged a thousand dollars in room damages and also almost evicted but my charm saved me from joining the hastings hobos. and then I spent hours in a tiny studio streaming technodubtrancehop through the speakers, clawing at the skin on my cheeks and turning over tremendous thoughts about love and chemistry in my head and then I zeroed the boards and stepped outside and found the five-act structure really does exist in real life. so sober at the pub tonight I bit into a beer-soaked chicken wing and thought ‘this it it, cass, you’ve hit your limit’ and I scanned the darkened booths it was another reminder how off the rails I’ve been the past few weeks, sunday ie three mornings ago I woke up and thought ‘november, it’s time’ and that was my ticket out of here, no concessions

so train rides to seattle + russian army winter coats + the lingering taste of milk in my mouth. red-leafed trees disrobing, chalking messages on concrete walls but the rain keeps washing them away. I’m hurtling towards something big and deep and inevitable, all the barriers that tell me where I end and the world begins are shaken from their moorings but sinking slowly amongst the rubble, it’s okay we’re okay. where do we go from here, our beautiful lost generation