live or tell

November 2, 2012 at 4:25am
Home
Reblogged from printedinternet

Sure, growing up’s not the greatest. As recently as six months ago I could spend my days sitting wherever I pleased, but now the tyrannical triumvirate of rent, food ‘n cigs keeps me bolted to the same spot for most of the week, staring at a bulky Microsoft monitor, and sometimes at the Excel spreadsheets it dimly displays. I used to think love was a fireworks display soundtracked by the Field Mice, but I now know it’s an oddly arousing war of attrition soundtracked by quiet whimpering into pillows and hyperventilation, or at least that’s my experience. All my life I’ve wanted a beard, and now I occasionally have one, but mostly it just itches, and upsets my mother. Not to mention taxes, and the inevitable assessment of one’s own paltry abilities. Hangovers are somehow getting worse, too, but then I might just be drinking more.

There are though some upsides to the whole flesh-loosening enterprise of aging. For example: I’m not as dumb as I was even one year ago! Still pretty fucking dumb, mind you— still not sure which way’s ‘North,’ couldn’t point out most states on a map even with hints, pronounced Tecate ‘tee-kate’ the other night, not 100% sure what senators do, constantly walking into walls while sending pathetic text messages—but seems the longer you stay breathing, the more you learn, without even having to read books. Plus also: I don’t think I’ve become a more discerning or intelligent Consumer of Culture since first falling for Smash Mouth in the fifth grade, but the simple fact of my steadily consuming books/music/movies for fifteen years now means I have a richer database of references to draw on when trying to compare things to other things, which, I’ve learned, is something us adults like doing.