Hello is it not apparent that this is a sore point with me? Because, um, it kind of is in a huge way. I realised over the weekend how easy it is to pick the boys with full-blown cases of yellow fever: it’s in their eyes and manner! And if you asked me to quantify this deduction I could not tell you how, but I would think my eyetwitch and cutting demeanour are a pretty good indicator that Something is Up in my Grille and you should take heed. But! This is a great article and it lays out a lot of the issues I had in the past but couldn’t quite express without growls of inarticulate rage:

By the time we’ve reached adulthood, most Asian American women have experienced so many episodes of Asiaphilia that it becomes something we laugh about over dinner. There was the time that one smooth-talking (and way too short—I hope you’re reading this) guy from LA Weekly’s marketing department asked me where I was from.

“Los Angeles,” I said.

“No, really, where are you really from?”

There was the 20-year-old UCI economics major who swears that Asian women’s vaginas “feel different somehow—very smooth and naturally lubricated.” Or the guy who sauntered up to me and asked, “You must be great with a chopstick, huh?”

Wink, wink.

zdjkbfgsdjkgd YOU GUYS, RAGING HERE LIKE A RAGEFUL THING. Also, not so much with the following but it’s still striking:

When someone homogenizes an entire race of people—even if that homogenization tends toward desirable—that someone is creating a wall between himself and the person in question. No one likes to be treated as an outsider, especially in the only country she’s ever known as home.

Things got worse when I heard the story of my friend Lydia, whose boyfriend’s Asiaphilic tendencies didn’t reveal themselves for months. By the end of the relationship, the guy had become an East Asian Studies/Chinese language double major, and never missed a chance to converse with her family in their native Mandarin. When she wasn’t around, he’d call her father to go out for Chinese food.

He’s gone, but his impact on Lydia remains.

“It always crosses my mind,” she says, “that I’m replaceable.”

While I understand that it’s difficult to separate race from personal identity, I still find it interesting (incomprehensible?) that people would choose to date solely from one ethnic background. There’s a whole lot more going on there than the colour of the person’s skin, I feel; anyway that’s enough essentialist linkdumping from me for tonight.

When white people claim that they’re colorblind, what they’re actually demonstrating is that they’re delusional. What they fail to recognize is something about themselves, which is that they do notice the color of non-white people, and that it’s often the very first thing they notice.

All the personal stories coming from this post are utterly fascinating. They really highlight ingrained assumptions about class & race that even I, being female and Asian and subject to ‘Oh you must work here you migrant lady’-type situations, am totally guilty of committing.

"it is a text like any other, with multiple meanings at work at any given time; second, that what makes a text feminist is not that it depicts a feminist utopia."

"

You, dear male reader, are totally not one of those men. I know this, and I appreciate it. I really do. But here’s where all this victimy girl shit concerns you:

* every time you don’t tell your buddies it’s not okay to talk shit about women, even if it’s kinda funny;
* every time you roll your eyes and think “PMS!” instead of listening to why a woman’s upset;
* every time you call Ann Coulter a tranny cunt instead of a halfwit demagogue;
* every time you say any woman–Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Phyllis Schlafly, Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, any of us–”deserves whatever she gets” for being so detestable, instead of acknowledging there are things that no human being deserves and only women get;
* every time you joke about how you’ll never let your daughter out of the house or anywhere near a man, ’cause ha ha, that’ll solve everything;
* every time you say, “I don’t understand why thousands of women are insisting this is some kind of woman thing”;
* every time you tell a woman you love she’s being crazy/hysterical/irrational, when you know deep down you haven’t heard a word she’s said in the past 15 minutes, and all you’re really thinking about is how seeing her yell and/or cry is incredibly unsettling to you, and you just want that shit to stop;
* every time you dismiss a woman as “playing the victim,” even if you’re right about that particular woman…

You are missing an opportunity to help stop the bad guys.

You’re missing an opportunity to stop the real misogynists, the fucking sickos, the ones who really, truly hate women just for being women. The ones whose ranks you do not belong to and never would. The ones who might hurt women you love in the future, or might have already.

‘Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I’d-hit-that and you just can’t reason with them and you can’t live with ‘em can’t shoot ‘em and she’s obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can’t stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can’t play by the rules they don’t belong here and if they can’t take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they’re only good for fucking and cleaning and they’re not fit to be leaders and they’re too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they’d just stop overreacting and telling themselves they’re victims they’d realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren’t even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…

I get that you don’t really mean that shit. I get that you’re just talking out your ass.

But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women–to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn’t know which one he was.

And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

The thing is

thecurvature:

most of us feminists know well enough that when an anti-choice man comes into a pro-choice woman’s space and tell her that she’s wrong on the subject of her own reproductive rights, there is, no matter his phrasing, nothing “polite” or “reasoned” about what he is doing.  Most of us feminists know perfectly well that the man is still arguing that the woman, the woman to whom he is speaking as well as all women, does not have a right to make decisions about her own body.  Most of us feminists know that when that man gets a negative response, and he counters with an argument about how the woman shouldn’t take it so personally, he is displaying privilege.  Most of us feminists know that there is nothing “abstract” about a woman’s right to bodily autonomy, and that it affects real women’s lives.  It’s not generally lost on us that most of those who spend time treating the “abortion debate” as an excuse to show off fancy rhetorical skills are men.  We generally know that when women point out that hey, this actually affects our lives, we are shot down with the admonishment to not be so “emotional” on the subject.  And we generally know that this is wrong, and hugely misogynistic.

But ah, it’s called “privilege” for a reason, isn’t it?  And so for many, many feminists, these simple, basic understandings that we lament so many men not getting, go out the window when talking about a different oppressed group.  And white feminists will tell women of color to stop being so emotional about the “objective” debate regarding whether or not something is racist.  And cis feminists will tell trans women to stop being so emotional about the “objective” discussion of whether or not their gender identities are legitimate.

And temporarily able-bodied feminists will tell women with disabilities to stop being so emotional about the “objective” discussion on whether or not their experiences are valid, and whether or not there is real reason for their concerns about decreased access to needed services.

And then they will fail to see why what they’re doing is wrong.  Because, well, that anti-choice guy, he’s an outsider.  But us, we’re all feminists around here!  And no other identity could possibly matter!  So we’re all friends!  And how could you dare treat the privileged, ignorant, sticking her foot in her mouth “friend,” the same way that you treat the privileged, ignorant, sticking his foot in his mouth “enemy”?  It’s so unreasonable!  They were just making a reasoned argument and demonstrating their rhetorical skills on this fascinating matter!  STOP BEING SO IRRATIONAL.

I am a person who is privileged in virtually every way other than her sex.  And this is exhausting, infuriating, and wildly depressing to me.  I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings of those women facing further oppressions, who are the actual objects of these patronizing diatribes about reason and logic, from supposed “friends” who know enough to know better.

(via igather)

The graphic novel, available in its entirety online or in PDF, reimagines Marjane Satrapi’s graphic novel Persepolis, and places the characters in modern but no-less politically tumultuous Iran.

From the website: Since the Revolution in 1979, Iranians have coped with an increasingly repressive regime. Attempts for greater social and political freedoms have resulted in brutal crackdowns by the hardline government. The ensuing apathy and significant boycott of the 2005 presidential elections led to the election of the ultraconservative mayor of Tehran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Four years later Iran has become increasingly alienated and its people more polarized than ever before. The campaign of former Prime Minister Mir Hussein Moussavi galvanized voters hoping for change, especially among the youth – two thirds of Iran’s population is younger than 32. On June 12th 85% of eligible voters cast their ballots and what happened next changed Iran forever…

(via buyhercandy: alohanico: thetwelfth)

Trying not to quote the entire thing was difficult.

In many ways, the Internet is providing a next generation public sphere. Unfortunately, it’s also bringing with it next generation divides. The public sphere was never accessible to everyone. There’s a reason that the scholar Habermas talked about it as the bourgeois public sphere. The public sphere was historically the domain of educated, wealthy, white, straight men. The digital public sphere may make certain aspects of public life more accessible to some, but this is not a given. And if the ways in which we construct the digital public sphere reinforce the divisions that we’ve been trying to break down, we’ve got a problem.

(via anthropophagous)

"Let’s imagine an Asia which was industrialized enough to take on colonial powers, to resist Western colonialism, and assert itself on the face of the map. An Asia which is not the Far East, but dominion of the Middle Kingdom (as China once called itself), whose culture was not meant for Western consumption and appropriation but commodified for assimilation by Westerners themselves. An Asia that is not the Mysterious Orient, but an assertive culture (or several) that stands on par with Western imperial powers. Admittedly, this Asia would have China and Japan as major powers, and the whole thing would still be a power struggle, and it would probably still be very racist - nonetheless, it would be an Asia which is visible, that demanded and got representation, which exists as its own entity in the consciousness of today, as opposed to being an Other shaped by assumptions.
This was how I really got into steampunk and started identifying myself as one: that dream of historical revisionism in scifi/fantasy where my heritage is worth a damn rather than some exotic element."

heterosexual privilege

Pam’s House Blend:

On a daily basis as a straight person…

• I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
• If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
• When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
• I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
• I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE fag tag or smear the queer).
• I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
• I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
• I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
• I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
• People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
• People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
• I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family.  It’s assumed.
• My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
• People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
• I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
• I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
• I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
• I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
• Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
• I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
• My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
• I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
• I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
• If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
• Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
• I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
• I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
• I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
• I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
• I can go for months without being called straight.
• I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
• My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
• In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation.  For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
• People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
• I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
• Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
• People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out”) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer”).
• I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
• I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.

(via buyhercandy: abbyjean)

semisetadrift:

On a somewhat related note, I was asked by two other people today where I “came from”. How do you respond to that? The second person to ask me this was trying to sign people up to support Canteen and this was the first question she asked me. Firstly, rude. Secondly, horrible, horrible sales skills. Thirdly, what? I just came from that direction. I came into the city on a train from Blackburn this morning. Surely that’s what you mean because rude.

“No, where did you come from? Where were you born?”
“Not in Melbourne, in the country.”
“No no, where did your parents come from?”
That’s assuming my parents are migrants. Although my father migrated here when he was 22, my mother is a second generation Cypriot-Australian. “Cyprus”
“Yeah, I thought you looked Greek or something”
Fuuuuck you.

Things I hear on a regular basis:

• “Wow, your English is so good!”
• “Where did your parents come from? Wait, no, let me guess—” run off a list of countries, then when I tell them the answer: “—oh I should have known! My niece’s husband is from there, they’re such nice friendly people.”
• “You’re not like other… Asian girls, are you?” (This from a guy struck with yellow fever; I’m paraphrasing because horror combined with alcohol to erase the moment from memory)
• And once, from a boy I would only assume is of Middle-Eastern appearance: “Scuse me, can you speak Asian?” (“No, Asian isn’t a language.” “Oh. Can you read this for me?” “No, that’s in Japanese. I’m not Japanese.” “Why not? You’re all the same aren’t you?”)

As I get older it becomes more difficult to politely reply to ignorant but otherwise well-meaning strangers. It’s worse when people slip in racist comments mid-conversation, or yell at you across the street. Normally I’m mature enough to walk away, but inside I’m full of esprit d’escalier and the urge to kick them in the balls so that in the future they’ll associate racism with the pain of a testicle retrieval operation.

ponymalta:

…and then, if you like, this piece at Emily Magazine about the backbiting among women, particularly for “hogging attention”. Then, if you really want to delve into this with me, read many of the pieces floating around right now about Helen Gurley Brown and her take on “feminism” and working the “patriarchal male gaze”— here is the most recent one from the New Yorker.

Most of the comments for the article on Feministing- in which a commercial glamour/bikini model questions why people criticize her morals for doing “sexy modelling” when she is married and presumably monogamous, and her husband has no qualms with her profession- are positive, but others get into the question of whether she is “harming” other women by having the kind of body that appears in music videos and men’s magazines.

Some of the comments are like this:

That being said, I think it takes a lot of nerve to come on a feminist forum and ask us to defend modeling for magazines that enforce negative stereotypes and gender roles for men and women. You say you work hard to keep your body tight and that you are proud of your body. While that may be true, I think you are also bringing up serious issues about seeking approval… If you want to free yourself from the world that judges you based on gender type morality, I suggest you stop calling your husband “your man” and find a magazine that won’t portray you as a piece of meat in a spread next to man who makes multiple times your earnings just because he knows to manipulate your presence and other models like you.

The piece in Emily Magazine speaks for itself in terms of the author’s view, but I like it:

When a woman presents herself to the public eye as a multi-dimensional being — like my friend Moe Tkacik, who is capable of writing incisive and compulsively readable dispatches both from the frontlines of both a political campaign and from her own bedroom — she will often be accused by other women of exploiting herself. If she is attractive — if she even betrays any sign of wanting to be perceived as attractive — the criticism multiplies. You cannot be pretty and be taken seriously, still. You cannot be honest about your own experiences and be taken seriously, even if your own experiences are the best examples at your disposal of social and cultural phenomena that affect us all, even if your experiences are ones that you know or suspect that hundreds and thousands of other women share. Other women’s voices aren’t being heard, you’re told, because you are hogging the spotlight with your salacious sexual stories. You are only getting attention because you’re pretty, or slutty, and how dare you steal that attention from someone who deserves it more, because there is only room in everyone’s minds for one iconic thing called Woman.

The main argument levelled against the woman, Michaela, writing for Feminsting, is that she is “contributing” towards eating disorder patterns and low self esteem among women by posing in sexy pictures that display her body. The argument there is seemingly that until there are no such pictures, no such publications, women can’t have high self-esteem or good body image. That is, it’s your responsibility, Bikini Models, to keep it under wraps for the Good Of Other Women. You’re ruining it for those who don’t want to take pictures in a bikini for whatever their reasons may be. You don’t have the right to display your body how you choose for your own reasons because that’s not the “Right Way” to “Do Feminism”.

I think backbiting among women, sometimes in the name of feminism- here, attacking other women for having the kind of looks that can be leveraged into lucrative careers or opportunities- is raging and unhelpful and usually insecurity disguised as progressive femininity. I don’t think that accusing women that their looks are harming other women is good for anybody. Part of my own belief in feminism is that anything that levels an attack on a group of women—for their religion, ethnicity, race, appearance, education, or income with the basis that standing out from the norm is somehow harmful to Other Women, that diversity is harmful to Other Women, that homogeny is implicitly the goal— is harming all women. Because if Mean Girls taught us anything, it’s that you don’t bring yourself up by bringing other women down.

/end diatribe.